New Title.......Renewed Vision

There are often times out here on our "mountain" that we have fog. Driving through the fog, I can only see dimly. There is a haze everywhere, but once I drive through the other side, things appear so clear and bright. Often times, things are so much clearer once we have gone a mile or so toward town.

Similarly, the Lord has taken me through a time of refocus in my mission, my ministry here on earth for "such a time as this." There have been several things happen of late here in our home that God has used to get my attention, to let me know that I had lost focus and had been walking around in the fog for a while when it comes to ministry in my home.

I had let good things become a distraction and let more important things go here at home. There had been some unintentional trading of "good, better and best" things in life. Trading of ministry and mission inside our own home for outside ministry.

Now I have known for a long time that my first and foremost ministry lies within the walls of this house. I would have counseled other friends and moms that way. I have read lots and lots of books on the subject. I have even done good Bible studies about my ministry and mission at home. I have always felt that my greatest mission field and ministry is here in this home with my best friend and hubby, Wade, as well as my four kids: Luke, Leah, Lydia and Grant.

But somewhere over the past year or two, I have let that vision become foggy. It has not been lost completely, but I am waking up to the fact that I have been settled into a routine, instead of passionately giving my all to it. There have been corners cut to make things still work without the attention to details that make this a warm, safe haven for all to come to at the end of long days at school and work.

Busyness has been the biggest thief of all. I have not regarded my time as precious and given it the highest value. I have bought into some of the thinking of the world, even if it is other's view of what life should look like as a believer in a local church.

Busyness leads me to these shortcuts that I see right now: constantly feeling behind in lots of jobs like laundry, less than healthy meals, no time for exercise and well-being of me and my family, less conversations happening, Bible time in the mornings becoming less frequent, mind being jammed-packed with "to do" lists instead of having the ability (or desire at times) to listen well, rushing through my own private worship times, irregular sleep habits, forgetting important dates and events, seeing less and less of extended family members.......and this list could go on. I am sure the Lord will continue to show me where my home is affected.

I am remembering that my life and call will not always look the same as my neighbor's or my friend's. The ministry and mission that God has given me may have a lot of similiarities of ladies around me, but my mission and ministry has been handpicked by God. It is unique and one-of-a-kind. What makes it unique? The people in this family. In this home. Each one was created in the image of God and each one has special needs that God has given me the privilege to seek to meet.

My call is unique because it is in partnership with my dear hubby, Wade. We decide together what is important for our home and family. We choose how to spend our time, money and energy. His desires and habits mingled with mine help define our homelife.

Now I know that I can't meet all of anyone's needs, but as a wife and mom, I am here to do certain things to meet needs of those around me. God is waking me up from the nap I have been taking to see that I could do a better job than I have been doing. Now my family might not notice, but maybe they have noticed, but would never say anything. They are nice that way. Maybe they will notice when I correct it and come out of the fog, putting them first again.

There are many areas that this involves. I am asking the Lord to help me one area at a time, to show me where I have lost focus, where I am not doing my best and then to help me correct it. It can be overwhelming, I know, to think about all that I do in a day: wife, friend, lover, confidant, mother, counselor, teacher, disciplinarian, trainer, chef, laundry mat worker, janitor, visionary, caterer, vacation planner, financial counselor/advisor, scheduler, driver, shopper (and I HATE shopping!), inventory clerk, coach, piano instructor, librarian, memory coach, decorator, organizer.......and the list goes on and on, as you all well know.

The Lord has been convicting me lately that I have lost sight of the most important ministry in my life. I have given up the vision for a day-to-day grind that is not always enjoyable. A project with vision and passion is much more desirable, don't you think? I want to enjoy my times in the house with these five wonderful people instead of prodding them along, ignoring them in the process of marking something off of my list and making their lives miserable and eventually pushing them out of the house without a desire to return for a while.

So I am on journey with the Lord to see where I have neglected my home and family and where He desires me to improve and give more of my time and attention. Though I have been convicted, I am also very excited about this! This is what I was created to do and be. God designed me for this job that He has given to me and I have a desire to do it well, as unto the Lord.

It can get monotonous and wearisome, at times, but it is also very satisfying and fulfilling.

I am about to begin a new study on Proverbs 31. Oh, no! I can hear some of you moaning already. I am excited! I haven't studied this passage for this purpose (personally) for a while now. I am asking the Lord for conviction, repentance, creativity and perseverance. I'll let you know how things are going as I study and seek to apply what God is showing me.

I am going to use Scripture mostly, but also a few books that I have read before that I know will help me. I'll be sharing reviews of them as I go along.

I'm so glad to be out of the fog. Now to learn to drive again carefully in the bright sunshine of ministry and mission.

Thanksgiving Dinner

Sunday night is my time to think about my week and make my lists. This week I am thinking about more than just this week. Thanksgiving week is on my mind.

My parents' 50th wedding anniversary falls on Thanksgiving Day this year. I am one of five kids and we are cooking Thanksgiving dinner for mom this year. She will have plenty of meals to plan since a lot of the family will be at her house all that week. Wade is even going to pull our fifth wheel up to their house for us to stay in some during that week. With the many kids that will be there, we will need a quiet sanctuary during certain times of the day, right?

My sister, Rene', is coming into town next Sunday. She and I are going up to my mom's either Tuesday afternoon or Wednesday morning of that week. We are wanting to do all of the cooking and just visit with Mom as we cook. It should be a good week together in the kitchen. And I love cooking.

Our menu for Thanksgiving Day Dinner will be:

Turkey
Ham (yes, we always have both)
Cornbread Dressing (Mom's recipe)
Buttered Corn
Green Beans Casserole
Sweet Potato Casserole
Broccoli/Cheese Casserole
Mashed Potatoes
Seven Layer Salad
Strawberry Jello Salad
Cranberry Sauce
Deviled Eggs
Yeast Rolls

Desserts will be:
Pecan Pie
Sock-It-To-Me Cake (instead of carrot)
Coconut Cream Pie
Chocolate Pie
Chocolate Cobbler (Rene's recipe)

I am hoping to try a few recipes during the week that I have not made for my extended family such as:

Bruschetta/Olive Oil Toasted baguette
Cinnamon Rolls
Cheese Grits
Southwest Chicken Tortilla Soup

The Sunday after Thanksgiving, I will be taking a mini-trip with my sister, Rene', (and maybe my mom) to Branson. My family will join us on Thursday, along with my parents, to see the Christmas lights. I can't wait to have a few days of reading, crocheting, watching old movies, walking/running and doing it without kids. Rene' and Mom enjoy doing the same things I do with their down time, so it will be relaxing and I will not feel like I have to worry about whether they are having a good time or not.

I used to get away twice a year to scrapbook for the weekend, but over the past couple of years, we have had crops here and included the kids. Those weekends away helped me "recover" mentally and emotionally from the 24/7-ness of parenting and homeschooling.

My kids don't understand why they can't come with us for the three days we will go up before them. Wade is trying to explain to them the benefits of it and why it is important for me and them, but then again they don't have to totally understand. One day they will. The older kids have school that week anyway. I am looking forward to the rest and it will be much needed after a week of cooking and visiting with family.

So my kids will stay here. Lydia and Grant can do a small bit of school without me (at Tom and Nancy's on the days that Luke and Leah have co-op) and then stay here at night with Wade. They can do part of their list on their own and get their chores done while I am gone. They will be so ready to see me by Thursday! And I will be ready to see them, too. They are great kids.

So this week, I will be hitting school hard (since we will have almost 2 weeks off) and preparing for Thanksgiving Day Dinner with some fun activities for the kids and grocery shopping. I am hoping the kids will be able to make the place cards for the table.......you know the apple one????? We love that one. We'll see how that comes along this week.

Looking forward to a week in the kitchen. I love, love, love cooking. Speaking of cooking, I am trying my friend, Kim's, recipe for Kale, Lentils and Sweet Potato Soup. Hope the family likes it. I am really making it for me. No meat, but lots of good veggies!

Have a great week! Hope you get a lot done. Attack those lists! But begin it all with the Lord. Only by His strength can we do what He has called us to do this week. May we do it in a way that honors Him and makes His strength shine!

Another sleepless night......didn't get to sleep until 4am. I'm not sure what is going on, but praying God will give me His strength today.

In my reading today, a short phrase has jumped out at me in Psalm 105. In this Psalm, Asaph is recounting truths about God. He is remembering His faithfulness, His works, His promises. He tells some of the history of God's faithfulness to the people of Israel and as he talks about God's faithfulness in the life of Joseph, he writes:

"Moreover, He called for a famine in the land; He destroyed all the provision of bread. He sent a man before them--Joseph--who was sold as a slave. They hurt his feet with fetters, he was laid in irons. UNTIL THE TIME THAT HIS WORD CAME TO PASS, the word of the Lord tested him. The sent and released him, the ruler of his people let him go free. He made him lord of his house, and ruler of all his possessions, to bind his princes at his pleasure, and teach his elders wisdom." (vv. 16-22).

"Until the time that His word came to pass." That is the phrase that keeps running through my mind. Joseph had to endure MUCH while waiting on God's Word to come to pass. It was much more than anything I have ever gone through and longer than any period of waiting I have found myself in. He must have wondered what God was up to or where He was in his life.

I have written before that I find myself in a holding pattern, in a waiting period regarding some things in my life, some prayer requests in my heart. I have waited a while on some things. Others not as long. I find waiting one of the hardest parts of the Christian life. Moving forward or backward is almost better to me than standing still in the waiting time. My mind and feelings are finite. I can't understand God's timing well or that a day is as a thousand years to Him. All I know is that it seems like forever to me because I like instant gratification on this earth. I want my prayers answered yesterday and in the way in which brings me the greatest comfort and relief.

Yet this phrase today gives me strength and hope. I don't even know if I can put into words why it encourages my heart. Maybe because it reveals to me again God's sovereignty over all that happens in my life. I know that I serve a trustworthy God. Rest comes from relying on Him, remembering His work, His power. This phrase reminds me that He is in total control, working His plan when He desires to. It is not according to my desires or wishes, but according to His perfect, loving plan for me and mine.

His plan involves waiting a lot of times. His plan requires trust and dependence. It means I have to relinquish control (like I ever really have it in the first place). It means I have to deny myself and fall into His arms with a great faith much like our youth have to fall into the arms of their classmates in an exercise of trust we do at retreat. However, God's arms will NEVER fail.

It is a reminder to me that my heart is desperately wicked, who can know it. I desire ease and comfort. He desires maturity and greater faith. I pray for an end to trials. He longs for me to see HIM in the midst of the trial. What I want will not bring me to a greater faith or maturity in Christ. It will leave me weak and independent in my thinking. What He works for me will bring me a clearer picture of who I am and Who He is, becoming totally dependent on Him for everything in my life.

Lord, I long to wait "until the time that Your word comes to pass" in the things that threaten to push me off course in this journey of faith. Make me long for spiritual maturity and increased faith, not comfort or ease. Give me Your strength to endure to the end, no matter how long it takes. Remind me that Your word WILL come to pass. It always does. And in the meantime, You will walk with me, beside me, upholding me with Your righteous, right hand. Amen.

Psalm 42

After being up most of the night with an intense earache and cough, I finally took some Tylenol PM about 5:00am to get some much needed rest. When I finally woke up around 10:30, I was so sad to have missed church yet again. So I went online to download our pastor's sermon from last week (which I had missed due to having family in town). Luke had talked about how good it was, so I wanted to listen. I couldn't get it to download, so I went to C.J. Mahaney's list of sermons. The first one I came to was this one. It was taken from one of my favorite psalms and it ministered to my spirit. I wanted to pass it along to you. It is about "talking to yourself, instead of listening to yourself" as originally said by Martin Lloyd Jones. Enjoy!

http://www.sovereigngraceministries.org/Resources/CJMahaneySermons/TheTroubledSoul.aspx



Okay, Jennifer, looks like you'll have to help me again. Can't get it to post the link! Ugh! Just go to Sovereigngraceministries.org and look for Mahaney's sermon on "The Troubled Soul."

Happy Birthday, Nay-Nay!

Happy Birthday to Nay-Nay! 49 today!

My sister, Rene', is here visiting and today is her 49th birthday today. It is amazing what the Lord has done in our lives over the years. Growing up, Rene' and I were not friends. She was the bossy oldest child of five and was always telling me what to do. I resisted because I wanted to be in charge, too. So we fought a lot and then she was gone. She went to college first and then married. Because she is almost 5 years older than me, we weren't together a lot after I got older.

After she married, I went to college and she moved to Mississippi where she lived for years. I don't even recall when things changed for us, but after I was married and she began having kids, I would go and visit her. I loved helping with the babies. Over some time, she then moved to Memphis. When I started having kids, she loved having us to her house. She homeschooled her three girls and invited my kids over to stay for days at a time! I would have never thought of doing that for her! She taught me so much about loving and serving your family. She is one of the biggest "givers" in my life when most of the world (including me) are "takers."

We began to talk more and travel to Nashville together to see our parents. That began a little bit of a friendship together. However, I believe we really became friends when she would come to stay with Wade's grandmother, GG, when my in-laws were out of town. We would spend a week to 10 days together scrapbooking, watching tennis (one of her favs) or making cards and playing cards; thus began a real friendship. We became more than sisters, but we began to be friends.

Now years later, she is one of my best friends. It is a blessing in my life to have friendship among family. I have always believed that friends may come and go, but family will be with your forever. That doesn't guarantee a good relationship, though, as our earlier relationship can testify. I am just thankful that God changed us and helped us become more than "older/younger sisters" to each other. We moved past our family status and moved into the world of friendship. Sharing our lives and our struggles built something between us, something more than just the memories of our growing up years. It built trust, respect and love.

We don't always agree with each other, but we do love each other enough to disagree agreeably. We enjoy spending time together talking, watching Food Network and old black and whites, as well as sharing books and Scripture to encourage each other. She prays for me and mine and lets me know that. She listens and cares even when tired. She puts up with my crankiness and loves me anyway.

I thank God for her friendship and her being a part of my life. Rene', I hope and pray you have a wonderful birthday! You are a blessing in my life!

Love you!

Shrimp Bisque

Here is a recipe that I have been asked for several times lately. It is one of our favorites!

Tait's Shrimp Bisque

1 1/4 lbs shrimp, deveined and peeled
1/4 cup tomato paste
1 yellow bell pepper, chopped finely
1 yellow onion, chopped finely
2 1/2 Tbsp all purpose flour
garlic to taste
cayenne pepper to taste
2 cups heavy whipping cream*
2 cups chicken stock**
1 bunch cilantro, coarsely chopped (yes, one whole bunch!)
1/4 stick butter

In a large pot, saute bell pepper and onion in butter for about 5 minutes. Add flour and make a paste. It will be thick.

Mix tomato paste and chicken stock thoroughly and slowly. Whisk until smooth.

Add garlic.

In a separate pot, boil the shrimp for 1 1/2 minutes. You are not cooking them fully. (You can also use the cooked shrimp and skip this step. It's not as fresh, but will work in a pinch). You can either chop them or put them in a blender and blend to consistency of your choice. (My brother-in-law likes it pureed and I like chunks of shrimp).

Add cream and shrimp to the large pot. Bring to a boil then let simmer for 5 minutes. Just before it boils throw in cilantro. You don't have to cook it long. Salt and pepper to taste at this point.

* If you want to lighten this up, I have used half and half in it. It just makes a thinner bisque.

** I use fat free and reduced sodium

The Drive Home

Wednesday nights. I love Wednesday nights, but as I drive home (anywhere between 9 and 10pm), there is an exhaustion that comes over me like none other during the week. It is mental and physical, as well as emotional and spiritual. It is the exhaustion that comes from ministering to teens. And I love it! It reminds of a guest speaker's words that I heard a year or so ago: "Exhaust yourself for the Lord." This is Wednesday nights for me right now. Wednesday nights consists of:

"can we talk?..........i need prayer........let's get together for coffee.......my friend is really struggling........what should I?...........can we pray together now?.......I need to talk to you......can you go talk to?.......I've screwed up.........I have this problem.........I need some help with this friendship.........I am so angry........I had a much better week.........God really met me today........No, I've not spent time with the Lord..........I'm having great prayer times........I'm lonely.........I am wondering if I really am a believer..........do you have a minute?.......I had this fight with my parents..........how do I?.............can you come to?....how can I help you?..........Happy Birthday!...........Lead me to the cross.........how's your private worship time?........are you okay?........please pray for.........help me.....how can I pray for you?.......do you have a minute?.........this week I have to........I'm overwhelmed.........I don't know where to start..........thanks.

So many of these thoughts are running through my mind as I drive home. So many of the kids' faces are going through my mind as well as I remember my interaction with them that night. Thankfully, I have a 30 minutes drive home so I can run these things through my mind and the people saying them before getting home to see Wade. However, it makes it hard for me to concentrate on what my little ones are telling me about their night in AWANA. It is just so hard to lay all of it aside for anytime. I love these kids and what they are going through. I want to help each one, but that is hardly possible. So I pray.

This youth group ministry is one of the greatest ministries I have ever been a part of. If God could use us (youth disciplers) in just one student's life, it would all be worth it. They are in such an impressionable time in their lives and they are searching, although they come across as knowing it all. That is just a front usually. They have questions and need answers. They have things they need to process through with someone. They struggle and persevere. I am happy to say that a lot of our kids are seeking to be faithful to the Lord, as well. They are continuing in what they have learned from the beginning. Yes, they fail, but so do I. They just need adults in their lives to encourage, pray, unconditionally love, share truth and listen. They need adults to understand that they are young believers and will fail at times. They need the love of Christ in human flesh. I want to be that. I fail often times doing that with them, but I will continue to try.

I remember my youth leaders vividly to this day. There were two couples specifically that listened to my youthful babble and my arrogance. However, they loved me, listened to me, gave godly counsel and continued to love. They spoke truth, but they weren't judgmental. They understood that I was young and immature in my faith. They gave me room to grow. I will remember them forever, not because they were great (and they were), but they showed me the love of Christ and that alone drew me to Him.

I pray I can do the same.